A Synergy of Sorts

This is how it will happen: the hairy ones and the fake people will meet. Their knowledge and strengths will mingle. The dinosaurs will be tamed and the ghost people will be tricked into a permanent sleep state. The hairy-fake people will co-habitate in large abandoned houses in the suburbs and grow hydroponic gardens, organize crystals into time traveling devices and smoke whatever spices and herbs have been left in the kitchen.

One particularly intelligent hairy person, along with the help of an unusually diligent fake person will create a powerful and incredibly useful salve distilled from common ingredients used in processed foods. When applied to the palm of the hand, this salve eliminates all five senses allowing a person's mind to focus solely on the Psyche. Much like an intense dream, people who have experienced this sensory elimination escape the boundaries of physical reality and function in a new and equally real universe. These "dreamers" are called Parallel People and they have become very disruptive in this universe.

I'm Not Sad

More revolutions from reality, twerps. Let's think about it. For three or more years we have been out in the open about our designs; north, south, east, and west. And where are we now? The communications have petered out and the Walking Targets have driven themselves underground, hampered by their ideals, not recognizing the true power of their ineptitude. We once could have changed the world with science, space, idolatry, conspiracy, homeliness. And yet we are now reduced to our beginnings, whimpering once more in a primordial limbo of flux and tears, of maturity and mediocrity. The contributions of our core members and chapters have dwindled. Our once waxing empire now wanes - our greatest accomplishment to disseminate our breath inconspicuously. Recruiting has ceased. Civil war is on the horizon and our fantasies have moved inward. We are in the death throws of our existence - not to be dramatic or anything.

I for one will not let this thing die peacefully. What is the point of glorifying futility if you resign yourself to not engaging in the futile? I'm turning on the life support, reigniting the flame in the homunculus heart of the Walking Targets and getting the message out. I've found a new set of fascinations that will capture the imaginations of new members, new minds. I am taking things back to their origins to where science came from. Alchemy. Magic. Fantasy. Wizards. Goblins. UFOs. Unicorns. Hollow Earth. Yetis. Elves. Led Zeppelin! These are fertile beds of rhetoric and discussion. These are the myths and legends upon which modern society and modern archetypes are based. They are the soundtrack to our lives. Escapism refined and the opiate of the masses! I for one am grabbing these reigns to the past , hopping in my time machine, and by god, I'll rule the f*&%in' planet.

This is only a declaration of things to come, a warning shot across the bow of your flagship Complacency. The new Walking Targets are rising and all of you Carl Sagan dweebs better take note. Even if you don't understand.

Lord Elder Grant Matthews of Halgarth

Techniques of Parallel People

Here is a perfect example of how identities from similar but obviously distinct universes get away with plopping there trash here on earth. This is likely a kind of garbage bin that some parallel person has dumped on us and tried to mask as fancy modern architecture by surrounding it with some clever landscaping. Obviously they got the memo that earthlings love grass and shrubberies... Parallel bastards!

More to come,
P.S.

Procrasstination, the Final Frontier

Maybe at the far edge of space, out thier where time-space meets itself, it becomes obviouse that, like so much of what we do, space itself is only there as a distraction from what is realy meant to be happening. Perhaps, then, we are all an elaborate procrastination, procrastinating ourselves elaboratly through space as space itself avoids that other thing that no one is talking about.

-I.U.

ANOTHER SPACE MISSION TO SPACE

Endeavor successfully rode a plume of fire into a clear evening...or so we are told. I have a feeling though that the hopeful teacher and her accompaniment of fellow astronauts have plunged into a realm of disorientation and dementia. Their travels are all smoke and mirrors, a giant blanket tossed over a huge structure to simulate darkness and Christmas lights near the windows to make the stars shine. I don't mean to sound pessimistic. I am sure they are in space but what exactly is space or rather what is the space they are in? Those are the questions I must ask. And don't kid yourself bud, I'm not getting deep here. Don't pretend you just came in on a conversation half heard and claim you don't understand. You know exactly what I am talking about. You've known for a long time and I think it is time we all lived up to the truth of the matter. From the moment you are born you are in space. You got out of your spacecraft on day one and the space walk hasn't ended since. You're in free fall, weightless and floating. How high can you jump out here? Where is the nearest star? Why is my space station developing a leaky faucet? I think the solar shields need mowing again. Has the shuttle crew made dinner yet? I'm starving. I think I'll go to another universe.

Is this all too much for you? Where do you really think space begins and ends? It’s in your head and in your poop.

Don't deny it.

Why Have The Astronauts Gone Crazy?

I've heard lately that the astronauts (for NASA at least) have been going crazy. That they have been drinking and flying, that they have sought to vanquish their romantic rivals, that they have been ignoring their doctor's orders. I wonder what this means for the rest of us, for the future of humanity. Is this one of those moments in my life that ushers in a revelation? Like when I realized love was and yet was not at all like the romance described in popular songs? Are all of the science fiction stories I have ever read totally off the mark? Does space travel make people crazy? Or do those that engage in space travel have to be somewhat crazy? Up until recently I believed that space travel was a noble endeavor undertaken by the most sober, fastidious, scientific and respectable of the Earth's population. They are the people who see the risk and take it to better humanity. Yet now, I have my doubts. I'm not saying that I feel that the astronauts are bad people, far from it, but I do wonder if something more sinister is lurking behind the veil of space travel. Is it possible that these intrepid explorers are the resolved and conservative individuals my dreams would have them to be when they first board the space shuttle but then with their travels into the outer realms of human experience off the nurturing surface of their home world the undergo a psychological change that makes them more wild, more weirded than they originally would be had they not broken through the atmosphere? Is there something more to the magic of the Earth than what science can quantify? Are all the hopes of colonizing and terraforming other planets to suit our needs for survival being debunked by the irrational behavior of our nation's heroes? Are we actually not to see these intergalactic visions come to pass?